Wednesday, April 02, 2025

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我爱上了一个人 一个不该爱的人 很爱很爱

我每天都好痛苦好痛苦 全身会疼的发冷无法呼吸

隔天却又好像变了个人似的若无其事笑着

每天的胡思乱想每天的吃醋

看着他对别人笑着我必须假装没看到

他不爱跟我分享他的事 而我每次从别人口中听到他分享给他们的故事而我却不知情我就会好难过

但我又有什么资格呢我又拿什么身份呢

偷来的爱本就偷偷摸摸是要还的可我也想自私

四月来了,👶🏻要出生了我又将进一步离他越来越远

没资格吃的醋,最酸。我可以明目张胆的想你,却不能明目张胆的找你;我可以明目张胆的喜欢你,却不能明目张胆的拥有你。

这种没有身份的占有欲,真是可笑又可怕。纵然心中有一万种想见你的理由,却唯独缺少了那个能站在你面前的身份

这种感受,就像是一杯没有加糖的咖啡,苦涩而又让人清醒。我知道,我应该放下这份执念,但我做不到。因为你是我内心深处的渴望,是我无法割舍的情感

或许,这就是爱情的无奈吧。有时候,我们明明深爱着一个人,却无法和他在一起。这种痛苦,这种挣扎,或许只有经历过的人才能体会。

希望来世我可以好好的被爱,今世的我太折磨太痛苦了


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

rubbish thoughts

sometimes on days like this i wish you could be by my side or at least ask a simple question like how did my day went because i don't feel fine at all and i feel so weird being alone tgt with my sis bf and i've got so much to say and vent it out before going to bed but no girl, i can't be this selfish and disrupt others focusness because they have better things to do then hear your rubbish rantings and your boring bad day and thoughts . waves and waves of emotions suddenly tonight i kennot fuck the period fuck the emptiness lingering in the house fuck feeling so attached to you fuck everything fuck everyone . so tired so drained so worn out and i shall do it the old way and sleep it off till the next time such emotions hit me . it'll be ok girl , it's not the first time i can do this .