I'm not even sure what should I do or how should I speak to not upset people which in turn upset me like I'm trying to be encouraging or what ? Do I have to go through this ? Come and go you're all the same . You've no idea how staring at someone going online over and over again but the typing.... never appear . I know I don't matter but don't come talking to me but ends up blue ticking all the time la . Give it a try , go . I thought . Just thought . My life could turn for the better somehow . Rough night ahead & all I need rn is a hug . My care bear is all I've got . Always telling others be nice to people but at times I'm so done being nice to people you see . 

Mid year kinda update

Wassup readers (if there's still any left)

Life's been a shit hole ever since idk when and it continues that way . I'm struggling in between to live or not every damn day .

I left my workplace that I'm comfortably in and am still mind searching for another job why I said mind searchig cause mentally I'm telling myself I need a job but I'm not doing anything bout it . Currently indulging myself with 16workinghrs/day all in for #Seagames2015 la guys .

In less than a months time I'll be starting school and that kinda suck . I'm not even ready yet . Currently left with 6 days to conclude some answers for some life changing decisions and I haven't gotten a clue on what would I choose yet . Either way it's not gonna be easy and I'm still thinkig .

& tfi , I hope you're happier in wherever you are rn . I hope you feel a tad bit of guilt for abandoning me for your own happiness . Hopefully at least , remember you still have a sister that once rely on you for mental support but you left her hanging there all by herself now 

I'm trying . To be alive .