oh wow, hello September.

This is wow . the last time i log in and posted a post is almost 10 months ago.

But hello there, I'm back & this time , decided to be a lil' hardworking and 'renovate' this lil' space .

I kinda ended 2015 on a wrong note with an unhealthy decision i made & so the start of 2016 was one hella ride for me all the way till now , 2016 is almost ending . but i made a promise to myself i need to clear these pile of mess before christmas , before a new year start . it's about time i start on a clean , healthy , brand new chapter of my adulthood.

Throughout this year , people come , people go - drifting in and out of my life , almost like characters in a favourite book . when you finally close the cover , the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book , complete with new characters and new adventures . then you find yourself focusing on the present ones , not the ones from the past . so i deeply appreciate and thankful to those that stayed and helped me out through this tough period . i promise i'll come back even stronger .

20 . 11 . 13

Looking through my drafts and gallery I realise I've got quite a number of things not shared yet . Spare me a bit though , lots of things have been pilling on me since sem 2 starts . Things just dont get better as each month or each sem pass or maybe I'm stressing myself too much I dont even know .

I have to stop pushin' people away man and get all pow-wow when they moved on , as much as I need to stop drifting from people 'round me . Idk , I'm still stuck in that delusion & not moving on believing single-sided love does exist . Trust just isn't there you see , then when I finally met somebody and pour my hearts out , they left .
"To love is to suffer . To avoid this suffering , one must not love . But then again,  one suffers the loneliness from not loving . Therefore to love is to suffer ; not to love is to suffer but yet to suffer is to suffer . They say to love brings happiness , then , so is it to suffer ? But suffering makes one unhappy . Therefore , to be happy , one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness ." 
One will nvr get contented , too much of everything kills .
Theres so many thoughts spinning in my head rn , engulfing me but somehow I just dk how to spill them out . So many ppl just come & go out of my life recently why can't they either stay or don't even enter ? Feel free to come in , the door to my heart is always open , feel free to leave too . But but but just don't stand at the door . 
That feeling is pretty hard to bear .