oh wow, hello September.

This is wow . the last time i log in and posted a post is almost 10 months ago.

But hello there, I'm back & this time , decided to be a lil' hardworking and 'renovate' this lil' space .

I kinda ended 2015 on a wrong note with an unhealthy decision i made & so the start of 2016 was one hella ride for me all the way till now , 2016 is almost ending . but i made a promise to myself i need to clear these pile of mess before christmas , before a new year start . it's about time i start on a clean , healthy , brand new chapter of my adulthood.

Throughout this year , people come , people go - drifting in and out of my life , almost like characters in a favourite book . when you finally close the cover , the characters have told their story and you start up again with another book , complete with new characters and new adventures . then you find yourself focusing on the present ones , not the ones from the past . so i deeply appreciate and thankful to those that stayed and helped me out through this tough period . i promise i'll come back even stronger .

Time is G O L D

Sometimes I wonder where will I be 10yrs down the road . I've been thinking , that I've been missing . And  a huge part of this comes from this very moment at where I'm sitting rn . ( FYI to those not catching the ball , I'm sitting infront of a comp 9 hrs everyday doing C O D I N G ) .

 I'm a dreamer of weird thoughts and doing things the weirdest way with the weirdest dreams which includes the weirdest occupations I wanna be . A common question we all ask ourselves - what are we doing with our lives ? what are we going to do with our lives ? Of late I've been thinking at how I've grown // ya it's just simple growing up but know me well enough you know I hate growing up // and how I've disappear away after every phrase of my life . That ---> suck in a way somehow . How I'm not talking to my childhood mates anymore after I left kindergarten and not making an attempt to reconnect the string btwn me and them(of which , partly wasn't my fault) ; How I'm not doing my prayers and attend class after I graduate from sec sch ; How I'm in the progress of disappearing from co after my final year ; 

it's time to get my priorities right .

& how as the years goes by , one tend to think so much it's giving nightmares ( or maybe it's only me , me & yours truly ) .

I am afraid that my life will go running in opposite diretions

I am afraid that who I am misses who I used to be

I am afraid of the demons within me

I am afraid with what retribution has given me

I am afraid of my own flaws

I am afraid my life is beyond saving

I am afraid of losing

and I'm afraid my breaths will start to collapse

Death . Frighten me all the time I tuck myself to sleep as much as I can't imagine people I love around me dying .

I have studies to occupy myself with but I just come to a point in my growing up where I stop learning just because I hate taking life so seriously vice-versa I hate taking life lightly just as much . Bitches , bastards , backstabber , the list goes on forever .

Everyone out there just wants to save themselves from trouble , and they abuse words and trust . That is growing up . That is survival . Because life is a bed full of roses , we just often forget that roses eventually develop thorns and hey , that is who you'll be the rest of your life without a turning point

PS this isn't what I intend to write at the beginning of this post but oh well somehow my fingers typed them up so , yup HA

Into Nov

Just another slightly (very) busy month and pfft the last month of the year has arrive .

01 Nov - Dan's 18th @ Swensens

10 Nov - Eugene's 21st @ - i forget the name - hotel

& apparently the amount of photos I took was pathetic

11 Nov - Polka dots monday with ma sisterrr

- - went home to change - -

@ night - went to support Nathan & Anwar fo their

 Souncard Production : Inspiracion III 

Not too bad , Still pretty awesome show . So proud of them

12 Nov - Jln Kayu makan trip

when one of the breaks were slightly longer & we desperately need 

out-of-school-food

I was craving for dimsum so bad & * snaps * I ordered them .

But let's not talk 'bout them shall we 'cause they were suck-like-hell

14 Nov - ISEG day

18 Nov - Hsia's surprise 19th

19 Nov - Surprise for Tessa's 18th at her house !

They call it the hover hug HAHAHA

finally reunited againnnn

Happy sweet 18th Tessa ! Great catch up I must say though it was only a short one ;')

Random days when Finn will drive me 'round places close to mother nature or food knowing I need them most to get rid of the stress pilling up my brain here and there . 

* hugs and kisses *

Been such a so damn long time since I explore new places for good fooood urgh hate sch though I figured I shld be thankful to have people fetching me to & fro school almost everyday

Since Hols are here , I'm tryna make full use of my time to squeeze down everything that I've not done , left undone , gonna be done

at the same time pretend projects gonna be easy and 2nd half of Sem2 gonna be heaven

Ya right , dream on