Rants

When was the last time I actually truly rant . I'm suffocating .

Of all three sibling it's only me WHY me WHY me WHY ?! Oh so now bein' the middle child I have to take down whatever blamesinsultsaccuses cast on me ? "Yes , I'm at fault" "Yes I did that , I'm Sorry" R E A L L Y . I used to be totally fine taking down all the blame 'cause I pretty much couldn't stand my kins bein' the one suffering . But years after years you see , the tolerance level reaches a limit especially when all the negatives magnify by triple . Now you get a rough idea how much I've endured the past 13 years ?

Today was one of the 'worser' days of my many bad days . It's one of the rare days I stood up so boldly just to confront or T R Y knocking some sense into that bitch that gave me two(hardest one so far) tight slaps early friday morning . wtf . Those accuses & insults are the culprits that trigger it . I took the longest possible way to school head bending as low as possible 'cause those tears need some self-alone time for once . ( Piece of advice , just skip school the next time you have a really really bad morning . You'll feel horrible for the rest of the day you practically won't have the mood at all .) Reached school one hour earlier before class start taking this time for myself to calm down . The rest of the day felt extremely miserable . I have to pretend nothing happened & make sure no one noticed . I have to plant an ultra fake smile to cover up puffy sore eyes & make sure I'm that happy-go-lucky-girl like any other day . Not like it's not worse enough - Friday classes were long hours & time pass by slower than the usual . & my eyes were really really painful . Y'know that-eyesore/dryness-eveytime-after-you-cry . It's not that I love keeping all these shit to myself it's just hard to find that somebody that can totally relate you or after I found , I couldn't bear troubling them or I'll be not in the mood to tell them or get them to pity me or get their mood ruined too . So the amount of bullshits I have to go through myself accumulate day by day I might BOOMZ anytime . One of the thoughest days indeed . There's so much more but sorry , the eyes battery warning signal is up .