5 4 3 2 1 0

So nobody bothered to tell me the grandpops are out in Spore not for a holiday but 'cause ahma's condition's worsening & she have to see a kidney specialist . Seriously , am I that insignificant . Those hospitality bills are a huge bomb . Have to head back to work despite the fact I don't want to . A kidney transfer is urgent .. but who . Wonder if I should sign those papers w/o any consent & donate mine . sadly underage problem comes in the way . Can't possibly let ma pops do it , guilt will engulf me . neither will they let my bro since they dote on him so god them fucking much & obviously def not the sis . How now how . Days are numbered . The streak of never-attend-any-relative's-funeral is at risk of a foul .


Don't think I'll ever get a chance to study uni . mooolah$$$ will never be enough even if it's on loan , I still don't think it's a yes to my doubt . The sis have yet to even reach secondary , burden . Unless miracle happen to my brain & I get like GPA4 all the way which is currently such a faraway dream that can't be fulfilled .
I'm breakin' 
                    down 
                      ...     own           .....
                                       wn
                                               n
                                                     n  n          ..
                                               
                                                                nn
                                             ..                               .. .

perspective way of life

p e r s p e c t i v e 

maybe one day things will be different , and  maybe one day when things work out , one of us suddenly gives up . things change and change is the only thing constant everytime , we are challenged to change ourselves . you say i need to grow up , and i cannot agree more on this statement . but don't you dare tell me you never behaved as ignorantly as i am during my age . there's more to life i guess . yea you were part of it but i've never respected it cause it don't deserve to be respected . hating you since i understand how to differentiate between a monster & human . & the hatred multiply day by day ever since the spoilt brat is out .

i wake up every morning to nothing but a blank mind and those thoughts jumping in craze . staring into space at a point as though sth miracle will happen there .  now i'm over it . i want to run away from all that's stressing me , i want to run away from my problems . idgas to the saying 'you can't run away from your problems' anymore like seriously ? you can't hang in there if it takes forever for a solution don't you . you understand i know .  but you refused to change . then it suddenly occurs to me i cannot run from myself & everything's back to diamond 1 . forever i'd say

think the best thing i've ever done for myself was to stay alive , when i wanted to die at point of time so badly .
this hatred i have for you mum , can never be erased fyi . yea haters be hate please

// some people wait forever to have what we had before . but we had it at the first shot . ps imy ..

Finn

OMG GUESS WHO'S BACK IN TOWN !? HEHHEEHHE ♥

Am in this picanto that's speedin' down the highway otw home from beer market 
right now after a mini welcome party .


I'M LEFT WITH 4 HOURS OF POWER SLEEP

Havin' a bad sign 'bout schoool later worse still it's lecture Wednesday (⌣́_⌣̀)

If only I can skip luhh .

School is turning me upside down like srsly .

Will update sooooon X

There's a bitch beside me right now who is so damn annoyin

help

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse than it could be , things got worse so terribly wrong on a wrong track . Just how much more god have to made me suffer having me to suffer from this punishment staring w my own eyes at all my fucking hardwork I spent early morn till late nights on gone in just a fucking min & there's nth not a single thing I can do to retrieve it but to re-do every single thing .
Deadline's next week .
I want to give up . To give up so badly but I plead for myself itz so no fair that I get beaten by this monster that runs on power itz just so unfair . As helpless as I am I've to redo everythin' takin' risks that this monster won't play anymore punk . Never felt as shag as hopless as lifeless as I am right now ever . Dying from everythin shutting from everyone killin the soul of a use-to-be-optimistic-girl .

Help .

Friday the 13th

A really really bad week 13th .
with Friday the 13^th involved .

Why can't things be any better .

I want some parents-ly love may god grant me .. ?

Everybody's fightin' for a space just to take a breath .

that's what I think .

this iz hell

It's only Tuesday & everything is drivin' me soso mad .

Nice catch-up w the mfco-rians like finally luhhs heheh

ma-farkin tired nowz but I've got assignment waiting to be complete .

So now tell me iz Poly life fun not 

Who am I , really 

Poly wk 12

So here goes my Poly week 12 .


Photos via Instagram
( @purpledidino )

Thank god so much ahma's finally discharge ..

most annoyin' bimbo dude ever

lecture buddy-ies

✌✌

Vampire Wedding

A nothing fanciful Monday > really shag Tuesday > bore to death meaningless lectures wednesday >  a day out w somebody that I use to know X VampireHunter > Skippin' class lab Fridays for some once in a blue moon meet-up drinking session X  FEP > tiring earning $$ Saturday > brokeless beggar stay home chiong assignments Sunday .

This week was far too crazy for me to handle . Things goes wrong Things went in the wrong direction Things I shouldn't be doing I did it all . What 've I turn to oh gawd .
Never came across the idea one day people like me who's so effin scared of pain 'll give permission to those thick needles to create a hole at those sensitive tastebuds but I did or let some aliens drawing on my skin but I did . Yet another move that I've made wrongly that made me lose the presence of somebody for real . So many upsdowns I'm lookin like a goldfish these few days . Cryin to sleep & waking up having weird thoughts up my brain . I mean you went out with somebody & all your partner does throughout was emo-ing all-day-long just cause the past set in & can't even rmbr the promises he'd made . Already very pretty much surprising I manage to survive the whole day . All I can do now is to wait till that past of yours to fade & let things start anew . 

For now , S H O O please .

Rejected that bimbo boy one shot . Girls shouldn't be the ones always bein' rejected yea .
Think I've been hiding too many secrets . Never fail to be amazed at how our heart can continuing thumping after so many unnecessary breakdowns we've made ..

Who am I y do I always have to fake a smile watch my words just cause of afraid to offend somebody or lose somebody or bein' the cause of somebody's unhappiness !?!

 Tired & tired & tired .
I want to explode want to cry it all ..

Finn's comin' back ... Swear he's gonna be so disappointed in me or he alr know alr did like how I'm so disappointed in myself for becomin' to the worse & not viceversa right now ....
Not a good start to July at all fuckk

Hi July

Hi July .

I don't expect anythin . Be a easy month will do #JulyWish

Headed down to pks durin' noon to support the HFH guys includin my bro .

Brave souls they're indeed .Rejoice

Amazin' race after to celebrate YouthDay . Hahaha
Then dinner closing ceremony that's it . A great start to July .

& pks youth arranged a mini surprise for the July babies . Thanks guys :')

Burfdae wishes never had come true , but I still made a wish haha ..

Not loookin' forward to ma' burfdae at all though . I don't wanna grow up ...

too stressful as you get older . No ?

Marks the end of my 3week break . School tmr .

Just fuck it .

我 , 也有寂寞的时候 ..