Skip this guys . Nothin' interesting for you to read 'bout .
Families are suppose to be warm ain't it . There's no way I can get mine to at least a 20oc tho . No way .
Things are gettin' so worse I can explode any moment . Thoughts like escaping this house in search of a room where I can stay & do everything all by myself . Thoughts like maybe I should just 死了算 . Isn't it gonna be better isn't it gonna be much more peaceful in the house then ? When you're a middle child & gender's F , explains all those arrows aiming at you . Can't parents nowadays stop judging . Girls run the world plox . Yes , I'm used to it but a lil' chance can be given right . I just don't understand . Help me . Imagine you just reach home & your mum's like an auto-sensored-robot-all-ready-to-rant-and-nag-at-you . I experienced this shit every single day now . I took the initiative to talk to her but she just loves to be opposition and do it the opposite . Imagine your parents not givin' you chance not trustin' you for who you are . Accusing you everyday for party-ing out & going home late . How 'bout that . I'm going insanely crazy when can all this bullshit just farking come to a fullstop . I caused the family to be in a hot mess I cause the pops to argued/fight/quarreled I am so selfish & sneaky I don't share I don 't care 'bout my siblings I don't do the housechores properly . These are enough . Enough for them to accused me for a night . All these things that I've no idea what I've did wrong ended up piling on this pea-sized brain I've got here . Why . A gleeful mode when I came home changes in a sec to a face full of tears . I can't cry . I can't show that bitch mum of mine here that I'm weak & useless & seek for pity - if that's what she thinks . I'll never say sorry to her . Never will till my last breath's over . 'cause I'll never forget those pain she'd planted permanently on me . Those pain that no one will ever imagined in their entire life a mum will do to their daughter . - or am I even one ? Can't strike out the option I might be adopted y'know . I don't think I did anything wrong . C'mon , if she gonna include all those minors or minors of the minors , she can have a record-breaking w/ Great Wall of China you bet . I thought I could understand father . I thought at least his that one last soul that could understand me better than anyone else in this family tree . I was soo disappointingly god damn wrong . Seems like his been psyched by that mad woman of his love . I didn't mean to be mean but seriously ? why can't dad just have a divorce . Everything's gonna be so much better . Save me from this . I'm experiencing hell even before I turned 18 not to say die . School is so stressing me out & I never even get a pat in ma' back . All that moron did was : 'don't want study then quit . Don't waste time & money . Can come out work alr . See ? Your cousin started workin' alr' . Best words of encouragement ever . all she knows is gettin her remote control ready-in-hand once she wakes up & be a sofa queen the whole day . Not gaf to how her kids are doing . I'm tryin' to give my best shot . Trying' to give this course a push & insert some interest in me . Nobodeh realise . Everyone thinks I go school just to Zzzz I'll def. not pass my tests I'll never get a good GPA . So much of a perfect role-model failure you guys describe me as huh ? What if I ever succeed . I don't have much confidence now either . But what if ? You guys will never know & when I'm typing this , dafug is she staring at me for . Afraid I'm engrossed in watchin' porn mother ? Ooooops , sorry . I forgotten we're quits now . We're suppose to pretend no one exists yea ? You said that 4hrs ago .
& when you say we're quits , aren't you suppose to return every single things you took from me .
Especially my farking phone . You jelly ? Jelly no one texts you no one calls you no entertainment websites for you . Oh please . Know what . I hate you
I hate you
btw those 2 weeks of hols ain't gonna be a fun one . 'cause me have to study . Damn . 2 of those major tests down . Hang it there , sinyei . Go .
imy Finn , so much . Now I truly feel the touched when you'll come rushin to where I am whenever I cried over the phone complainin' 'bout shits to you :') Can you do that now ? JustKiddingBuddy .
Get those work done & come back real soon ;-( the fact I know it's gonna be months more .. .. heh , you've got quite a fair bit to catch up Heehee . Lesigh . All our source of communication depend on those letters only . . . Gahh it's ok , I'm fine . Now that I've realise how much I've been depending on you . misschiu buddy. X
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